This is the first time, ever, that I have taken a week just to myself. No kids, no husband. Just me. I am staying with my brother and sister-in-law, so I am not alone, but I am marching to my own drum, taking the time to nurture myself. I feel like one of those reptiles that has shed layers, and emerges, the same, but different. I am stepping in to the footsteps of the woman that has resided inside of me, the one that has been trapped, and too weary to come out. Here I am.

Before I came away, I had the intention that I wanted to use this time as a sojourn, a time to heal my mind, and my body. I found a yoga studio close by, Parasutra, that seemed to fit my criteria, and when I arrived purchased an unlimited pass for the week. I am beginning to feel the energy of life returning to my limbs and spine, my heart and mind. I like the teachings that are integrated into each class. Words from Connie like, ‘just here’ resonate, bringing me in to the moment, allowing the thoughts that congest my mind to roll by, and I am ‘just here’. Another mantra I love from Sarah, ‘think with your heart’. If I think with my heart I am open, approaching daily life with love and compassion and I feel kinder to myself, and that echoes to those around me.

I am collecting these wisdoms like shells along the water’s edge. My sister-in-law has the unique capacity to make all those in her path feel beautiful. I have learnt many lessons from her, most notably, to surrender. To let go of all of our pre-conceived notions about what and how our lives should be, and embrace the joy of what is. It’s a daily practice. One morning as my brother and I were talking about this and that, he quoted the first line of the Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy, “My wound is geography.” I had to think about this. What does it mean? To carry our wounds wherever we go? A quest to find healing? I love that I have time to consider and ponder the weight and measure of words.

I am also using meditation to clear my jumbled mind, nourish my soul. This is corny, but one of the meditations I am using is from the movie Eat, Pray, Love. Smile. Smiling from my heart, my eyes, and my centre, I feel lighter. I use the teachings of Sakyong Mipham to guide me in focusing on the simple act of breathing in and breathing out. This has been very powerful on my walks along the ocean, with the ebb and flow of the water, like the rhythm of our breath. And now, have been introduced to the words of Eckhart Tolle and his ideas about letting go of our thoughts and living in the present moment. Yes, it’s a smorgasbord of meditation, on the road to inner peace and spiritual awakening!

In yoga the other day, Sarah talked about the idea that our own life journey is our greatest teacher. I am learning everyday. To embrace all the intricate pieces of myself, that somehow, in all their imperfections stack like vertebrae, supple, yet strong and create me.

The other week I posed the question, do we have to go away to find ourselves? I realize that as Conroy says, we carry our wounds wherever we go. But I must say, stepping away, or getting out of our own way, even just a little, creates the space to allow us to connect with a part of ourselves that we might have tucked away. For me it did take a vacation to finally take a step towards embodying my life. Emerging is beautiful. Namaste.

Parasutra Yoga
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